How much should we help the kids?
Supporting adult children while still encouraging financial independence
Family finances
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Imagine David breaks his leg and visits an outpatient care center. The doctor gives him Tylenol and tells him, “Try this. If it hurts next week, just come back.” Days go by, and David’s pain grows. Again he visits the doctor, and again he leaves with a prescription for Tylenol. While the prescription numbs David’s pain temporarily, it doesn’t solve his issue.
Broken bones need to be set and can even require surgery. David needs healing, not just a temporary fix.
What if parents inadvertently give similar economic care to their adult children? I stumbled on the idea in the book “The Millionaire Next Door” by Thomas J. Stanley and William D. Danko.
Parents of adult children often want to help their kids financially. They pull out their wallets every time their child says, “Mom, I need some money.” Who wouldn’t want to help if they are able?
While parents should be commended for wanting to help their kids, well intentioned generosity can accidentally increase consumption. Instead of helping their children, financial gifts from parents may encourage adult children to live above their means– sometimes even to unsustainable levels.
How can we help our adult children while still encouraging financial independence? How can we make wise choices about how much to give? Is it OK to help your kids pay for a special family vacation? (Likely yes). Should you give your kids money each month for basic needs? (Probably not…) When do financial gifts serve as medicine that heals? When does it mask deeper problems?
These are big questions that can feel overwhelming. A path forward might include conversations with an Everence financial consultant about sound preparation for the future. In the meantime, “The Millionaire Next Door” repeats this timeless wisdom: “Whatever your income, always live below your means.”
Let’s encourage each generation to do just that. This is the path toward financial healing, health and wholeness.
Broken bones need to be set and can even require surgery. David needs healing, not just a temporary fix.
What if parents inadvertently give similar economic care to their adult children? I stumbled on the idea in the book “The Millionaire Next Door” by Thomas J. Stanley and William D. Danko.
Parents of adult children often want to help their kids financially. They pull out their wallets every time their child says, “Mom, I need some money.” Who wouldn’t want to help if they are able?
While parents should be commended for wanting to help their kids, well intentioned generosity can accidentally increase consumption. Instead of helping their children, financial gifts from parents may encourage adult children to live above their means– sometimes even to unsustainable levels.
How can we help our adult children while still encouraging financial independence? How can we make wise choices about how much to give? Is it OK to help your kids pay for a special family vacation? (Likely yes). Should you give your kids money each month for basic needs? (Probably not…) When do financial gifts serve as medicine that heals? When does it mask deeper problems?
These are big questions that can feel overwhelming. A path forward might include conversations with an Everence financial consultant about sound preparation for the future. In the meantime, “The Millionaire Next Door” repeats this timeless wisdom: “Whatever your income, always live below your means.”
Let’s encourage each generation to do just that. This is the path toward financial healing, health and wholeness.